This is so great to read, the never-ending cycle of coming to terms with mothering in this modern age is in itself a whole job. I often have a push and pull. You have so delicately spoken to such a profound feeling.
Thank you and yes , you are so right! Modern motherhood is a trap for us to prove we have it altogether. It is my belief that the sooner we realise we can't have it all and instead focus on what feels true/nourishing/important for us the sooner we can feel more free and more sane!!
I agree. And the more we sink into the trap the further we come from what nourishes us. Whilst also being able to rest with the truth we possibly do want it all.
I am always blown away by your ability to put such complex experiences into words that bring meaning and understanding to it. As a mom of two little girls, with the added pressure of the expectation that I will “know it all” or that it will be easy because of my professional background - I feel seen. So much of this resonated with me 🧡
Love this analogy! And also makes me think of how consumed is moms can also become about being those cogs sometimes and without realising it putting pressure on ourselves. We so desperately want things to be different for our daughters and the generations that come after them that we can get a bit caught up in it all. I know for me, I just want it all to happen more quickly and get frustrated when inevitably it doesn’t happen just like that! And I think that comes from a place of as a mother be expected to do everything “just right” while at the same time as a professional being expected to “make everything right” in a results driven world with a perpetuating belief that if everyone isn’t happy then there is a “problem”. And don’t even get me started on when imposter syndrome creeps in! It really is so complex.
Thank you so much Emma. That added pressure when we have a professional background can be so oppressive and painful can't it? We are each cogs changing our patterns and moving away from perfectionism and all the things and creating a much more beautiful connected and loving way of being for us and our daughters!! And one day we will stop and realise we have changed the machine!
Cath its like you voiced all my muddled thoughts on my experience of motherhood and put it in a beautiful, comforting vulnerable post and for that I'm grateful. The words "we all look around and compare to each other but we don't really know what goes on in other people houses so we compare to a fantasy ideal" YES YES YES and this reinforces the importance of authentic, vulnerable chats with others about the real, real, real reality of mothering ...with friends or in community 🙏🏻. I would rather have my 4 mum friends who I can be real with than 4000 friends who I cannot share my truth with anyday!
Also thank you for the reminder: "feelings come and go... and I don't have to make them mean anything" (this was swiftly written in BOLD in my journal today 🤣🙏🏻👌🏻) x
Yes Kate! The authentic, vulnerable chats are actually a form of resistance in my opinion as we prioritise connection over perfection and model a different way of being. Yes, me too, there is nothing worse than being lonely in a group who can't hear our truth. x
This is so great to read, the never-ending cycle of coming to terms with mothering in this modern age is in itself a whole job. I often have a push and pull. You have so delicately spoken to such a profound feeling.
Thank you and yes , you are so right! Modern motherhood is a trap for us to prove we have it altogether. It is my belief that the sooner we realise we can't have it all and instead focus on what feels true/nourishing/important for us the sooner we can feel more free and more sane!!
I agree. And the more we sink into the trap the further we come from what nourishes us. Whilst also being able to rest with the truth we possibly do want it all.
I am always blown away by your ability to put such complex experiences into words that bring meaning and understanding to it. As a mom of two little girls, with the added pressure of the expectation that I will “know it all” or that it will be easy because of my professional background - I feel seen. So much of this resonated with me 🧡
I hope my analogy makes sense :-))
Love this analogy! And also makes me think of how consumed is moms can also become about being those cogs sometimes and without realising it putting pressure on ourselves. We so desperately want things to be different for our daughters and the generations that come after them that we can get a bit caught up in it all. I know for me, I just want it all to happen more quickly and get frustrated when inevitably it doesn’t happen just like that! And I think that comes from a place of as a mother be expected to do everything “just right” while at the same time as a professional being expected to “make everything right” in a results driven world with a perpetuating belief that if everyone isn’t happy then there is a “problem”. And don’t even get me started on when imposter syndrome creeps in! It really is so complex.
Thank you so much Emma. That added pressure when we have a professional background can be so oppressive and painful can't it? We are each cogs changing our patterns and moving away from perfectionism and all the things and creating a much more beautiful connected and loving way of being for us and our daughters!! And one day we will stop and realise we have changed the machine!
Cath its like you voiced all my muddled thoughts on my experience of motherhood and put it in a beautiful, comforting vulnerable post and for that I'm grateful. The words "we all look around and compare to each other but we don't really know what goes on in other people houses so we compare to a fantasy ideal" YES YES YES and this reinforces the importance of authentic, vulnerable chats with others about the real, real, real reality of mothering ...with friends or in community 🙏🏻. I would rather have my 4 mum friends who I can be real with than 4000 friends who I cannot share my truth with anyday!
Also thank you for the reminder: "feelings come and go... and I don't have to make them mean anything" (this was swiftly written in BOLD in my journal today 🤣🙏🏻👌🏻) x
Yes Kate! The authentic, vulnerable chats are actually a form of resistance in my opinion as we prioritise connection over perfection and model a different way of being. Yes, me too, there is nothing worse than being lonely in a group who can't hear our truth. x